Calling All Cars

Samus Aran is an intergalactic bounty hunter, so it’s pretty much a given that she would need a ship to move from planet to planet. She has flown many ships during her storied career, but the original gunship from Metroid II and Super Metroid is likely the first one that springs to mind for most gamers. The ship is basically used as a glorified save point and a station to replenish health and missiles. This list was intended only for vehicles which players can directly control, and many will point out that Samus’ original gunship could not be flown in any of the Metroid games. After consulting my legal team, I’ve found a loophole that will allow us to recognize Samus’ gunship on this list anyway! Galactic Pinball for the Virtual Boy has a bonus round in which players were finally given the opportunity to fly Samus’ famous ship. We already knew the ship looked cool, but Galactic Pinball showcased its firepower and demonstrated its amazing ability to turn asteroids into dust.

There is much debate over whether or not a skateboard is considered a vehicle, and its classification can vary from one municipality to the next. The skateboards mentioned here are being recognized as vehicles since they are self-powered and don’t rely on propulsion from the rider. First used in Wonder Boy (but perhaps more often associated with Master Higgins and the Adventure Island series), the skateboard deserves a mention mostly because of how wonderfully out of place it is. I can understand how stone axes and dinosaurs fit into the games, but a fat caveman on a skateboard doesn’t make a lot of sense. The fact that the skateboards hatch out of eggs is even more perplexing. I appreciate how conscientious Wonder Boy and Master Higgins are about safety, however. They happily fight enemies ten times their size and they have no qualms in jumping onto clouds, but they still have the good sense to wear a helmet and kneepads while riding their skateboards. (They do provide a significant speed boost, in all fairness.) Higgins rides on pterodactyls without changing his outfit, so the fact that he wears safety gear while skateboarding speaks to how inherently dangerous the vehicle must be.

You really have to appreciate the simplicity of Earthworm Jim’s Pocket Rocket. Many of the vehicles on this list have powerful engines, but the Pocket Rocket is a powerful engine. Not to be confused with a totally unrelated adult novelty product, the Pocket Rocket is a small personal rocket ship that can somehow be stored in the pocket of Jim’s Super Suit. It’s basically a large turbine with handlebars, and could be described as an interstellar version of a motorcycle. Jim uses the Pocket Rocket to travel from one planet to another and is often pursued by determined bounty hunters who ride similar vehicles. In addition to being able to function in the cold vacuum of space, the Pocket Rocket can also be used under water and is durable enough to withstand asteroid strikes. A vehicle can say a lot about its driver, and the Pocket Rocket speaks volumes about Jim’s fearlessness and brazen demeanor.

Airships have played a major role in almost every Final Fantasy game, and many of them were strongly considered for this list. An entire countdown could be made that focuses exclusively on Final Fantasy airships, but I’m going to limit this list to one for the sake of variety. The Lunar Whale is the third and final airship you obtain in Final Fantasy IV and is arguably the coolest looking ship in the entire series. It’s three times as large as other airships in the game, and has all the amenities you could ask for (including healing beds and chocobo pens). It’s not entirely accurate to describe the Lunar Whale as an airship, considering it can also fly through the vacuum of space and was specifically designed for travel between the Red Moon and Earth. It can be hard to find a place to land the ship due to its size, but it’s hard to complain when your flying a whale ship into outer space.

In some ways, the Epoch outclasses every other entry on this list. While the other vehicles simply move individuals from one physical location to another, the Epoch has the ability to jump through time itself. What other vehicle on this list gives you the opportunity to see the dinosaurs or witness the apocalypse? A vehicle that can instantly transport you to any point in time completely changes the way you think about travel. The concept of a destination as a point in time rather than a physical location is pretty abstract, but it’s nothing that hasn’t been explored in thousands of other stories. One area where the Epoch stands out from typical time machines is how effective it is as a traditional transportation method. Even if you were to completely remove time-travelling from the equation, you’d still be left with a functional aircraft that can fly around the globe.

Arwings are advanced personal combat ships and technical marvels. Their revolutionary “G-Diffuser” anti-gravity devices allow pilots to accelerate instantaneously and perform a number of impressive aerial maneuvers. (The most famous being the iconic barrel roll, which looks cool and deflects enemy fire at the same time!) Arwings are among the most powerful single-seat ships in the galaxy and are equipped with upgradable lasers, smart bombs, and other advanced weapon systems. The ships are incredibly resilient too, and the StarFox Team is constantly pushing them to their limits. They’re tough enough to fly through lava and maneuverable enough to be flown through space stations. Whether you’re negotiating an asteroid field or dogfighting with rival pilots, the Arwing is the perfect craft for nearly every situation. Arwings are often compared to X-Wings from the Star Wars universe, but I don’t recall ever seeing an X-Wing transform into a weird chicken-like creature. The Arwing’s uncanny “walker” transformation from StarFox Zero (and the unreleased StarFox 2) allows for the exploration of fortresses and other areas that would otherwise be too small for standard Arwings to canvas.

There are numerous vehicles to obtain in the Metal Slug series, but the eponymous “Metal Slug” vehicles are obviously the most iconic. A number of tanks, airplanes, and submarines are seen throughout the series, and each of the Slugs is useful in its own way. There are many awesome vehicles to choose from, but choosing the best Metal Slug was a surprisingly easy task. Simply put, the Slug Gunner is the most versatile vehicle in the series. It’s basically a walking tank with a jetpack, and it’s also armed with a turret, a Gatling gun, and a giant blade that can impale enemy soldiers and destroy enemy vehicles. If walking around in a giant mech isn’t your thing, you can always speed things up by using the retractable tank treads. If there’s one thing cooler than a walking tank with a jetpack, it’s a transforming walking tank with a jetpack.

Bowser’s first few encounters with Mario ended with him falling into lava or bottomless pits, so it was surprisingly logical when he started using the flying Koopa Clown Car. Although the Clown Car looks relatively small from the outside, it somehow has enough room for Bowser, Peach, and a limitless supply of Mechakoopas and giant steel balls. All seven Koopalings often ride in a single car (which presumably allows them to access the Clown Carpool lanes in the Mushroom Kingdom), and Bowser Jr. has his very own miniature version to pilot. In New Super Mario Bros. Wii, Mario and his friends were finally given the opportunity to take the Clown Cars for a spin. The physics behind the vehicle don’t make a lot of sense to me, but they are a lot more maneuverable than you would expect from an object driven by a single propeller. The Clown Car is easily one of the most recognizable vehicles in gaming, and its giant face really makes it stand out. The fact that this face is able to change its expression only adds to its charm.

Blaster Master tells the story of a boy chasing his pet frog into an underground cavern and stumbling upon a large armored tank that was specifically designed to fight radioactive mutants beneath the surface of the earth. How typical. Losing a pet is never fun (nor is battling subterranean mutants), but having the opportunity to drive Sophia the 3rd makes the whole ordeal worthwhile. Without question, Sophia the 3rd is one of the most versatile vehicles in any game. The concept of a jumping tank is pretty awesome to begin with, but Sophia the 3rd can also be upgraded with the ability to climb walls, dive through water, and hover in the air. With each upgrade they obtain, players can reach new areas that were previously inaccessible. In short, Blaster Master is basically Metroid with a tank instead of a bounty hunter. Blaster Master allows players to exit their tank at any time in order to explore spaces too small for their vehicle to travel. At the end of the day, the sections where you play without the tank ultimately reinforce how useful Sophia the 3rd really is.

The M12 Warthog (also known as the M12 Force Application Vehicle) is a four-wheel, all-terrain vehicle developed for the United Nations Space Command Defense Force. Powered by a hydrogen-injected engine, the Warthog was designed to effortlessly drive over nearly any obstacle. They are highly customizable too. Whether you’re traveling in deep snow or trying to keep a low profile in harsh jungle environments, the Warthog can be adapted for nearly any situation. They are sometimes stripped down and used for recovery missions, but they are typically equipped with a turret-mounted machine gun that can be used to take down tanks or aircrafts. The Warthog proved useful during Halo‘s single-player campaigns, but its biggest contributions were on the multiplayer side of things. Since one player could man the turret while another would handle the driving responsibilities, the Warthog encouraged teamwork in a profound way. Four people traveling together in one Warthog is a great way to build comradery, and it’s downright hilarious when you crash or roll over. The Warthog isn’t the most powerful or graceful vehicle on this list, but it’s worthy of the top spot for playing a significant role in one of the biggest video game franchises of all time. You know a fictional vehicle is iconic when people start modifying real life vehicles to look like it.