Paint the Town Auburn

Tabula Rasa is a sci-fi MMORPG that focuses on humanity’s last stand against a hostile alien alliance. After the aliens launch an all-out assault on the Earth, a coalition of soldiers fights back against the invading forces. As a human who can harness an ancient alien power, Sarah Morrison’s contributions to the resistance cannot be overstated. The defiant Texan is no stranger to tragedy, and her transition from rebellious teen to battle-hardened soldier was seamless. Even though the Tabula Rasa servers were shut down a mere 15 months after its launch, Ms. Morrison is still fondly remembered. Maybe it’s because she was featured on the game’s cover and in all of the marketing materials, or perhaps it’s because she appeared nude in the pages of Playboy. It just goes to show you that MMOs are temporary, but tits are forever.

Rebecca Streisand is an energetic tomboy who leaves home at a young age to accompany a childhood friend on a golem-hunting adventure. She’s more than a mere sidekick, however. Not only does she keep everyone in line with her quick wit, but she also acts as the narrator of the entire story. It was only a matter of time before she stepped out into the world. Incidentally, she’s an accomplished acrobat who had big dreams of joining the circus. Rebecca wants to entertain audiences with an epic shooting routine that she put together, but there are other routines that I’d rather see her perform. If her tattered cutoffs were any shorter, they would have had to up the age rating on Wild ARMs 5. Rebecca harbors feelings of unrequited love for her aforementioned friend, but she’ll likely get over it after taking a few rides in a clown car.

Several Resident Evil babes have been featured on this website, so it’s surprising that Claire Redfield hasn’t been given more attention. (Even Elza Walker was given her own list entry, and she was effectively replaced by Claire during the development of Resident Evil 2!) Claire is one of the few Resident Evil protagonists with no paramilitary training, but this doesn’t stop her from running head-on into danger. When Raccoon City is overwhelmed by a zombies, Claire rides into town on her motorcycle to find her missing brother. Even though the fiery young woman has no support from the outside world, she holds her own against the undead, contends with Umbrella security, and survives a T-virus outbreak on more than one occasion. At one point, she even bitch-slaps a United States senator. Claire Redfield, you da real MVP!

Brigitte Lindholm almost looks like a Disney princess with her doe eyes and cute freckles, but nobody can accuse her of being a girly girl. In actuality, she’s a tomboy with aspirations of knighthood. As the daughter of an illustrious weapons designer, Brigitte developed an interest in mechanical engineering from a young age. She ultimately decided that the life of a mechanic wasn’t exciting enough, so she made her own Crusader armor and joined the fight against terrorists and other evil-doers. Brigitte spends most of her time patching up others on the front lines, and she always has words of encouragement for her comrades. The girl is intelligent, helpful, and drop-dead gorgeous. She’s apparently lucky, too. Although she inherited her father’s mechanical aptitude, she thankfully didn’t inherited his looks. She’d look really weird with a beard.

Karin Koenig is a descendant of Bavarian nobility and a Lieutenant in the German Imperial Army. She had a prosperous career ahead of her, but her life fell off course while investigating the existence of a shape-shifting demon named Yuri. Although she intended to kill the demon, she accidentally fell in love with him instead. Oops! Despite wearing short skirts and “fuck me” boots, her feelings were not reciprocated. Yuri was pining for another woman, so Karin kind of watched from the sidelines. The heartache was too much to bare, so she wished to go back in time so she could be with him. She was sent too far in the past, however, and ended up meeting Yuri’s father instead. Shortly thereafter, she became Yuri’s mom. What kind of Monkey Paw bullshit is that!? In spite of her creepy misadventures through time, Karin is still a total babe.

Several Granblue Fantasy girls were considered for this list, but Carren is impossible to ignore since she’s the type of girl who seeks out adventure at every turn. When she grew tired of her normal life, she left home to join a skyfaring mercenary group. As if that wasn’t ambitious enough, she took things even further by proclaiming herself the acting captain. Nobody acknowledged her authority, but that didn’t stop her from barking out orders! To her credit, she’s pretty skilled with a sabre, and her fire magic is more advanced than you might imagine. Although her enthusiasm makes her a handful for the rest of the crew, I admire her boundless passion. She acts like the main protagonist even when she’s in the background, and she always makes sure that she’s the star of her own story. The sky’s the limit for girls like Carren.

Lady Kaihime is a beautiful maiden who was raised from birth to be a warrior. Although she secretly wishes for an easier life, she has a strong sense of responsibility and bravely fights to protect her home. She’s not the most experienced fighter, but she’s aggressive enough for the veteran soldiers to jokingly compare her to a wild bear. The comparison is not entirely unfair. Kai is the strongest female in Samurai Warriors and can take more damage than any of the other women. At the same time, she’s relatively slow on the battlefield. Nevertheless, Kai has a huge ego and believes that she can fight as good as any man. She’s frequently mocked for her tomboyish nature, but that’s just because she’s fun to rile up. She’s adorable when she’s angry… as long as she can’t reach you with her trademark sword-whip.

Tekken 4 introduced a host of new play mechanics to the series, but as far as I’m concerned, the best addition to the game was a Brazilian hottie named Christie Monteiro. Eddy Gordo was chosen to represent the Tekken series on our list of best Brazilians, but some readers felt that Christie deserved the honor instead. She’s every bit as graceful as Eddy is, after all, and her cleavage is a lot more impressive. The gorgeous capoeira master is remarkably fluid in battle, and her fighting style helps accentuate her impressive curves. Her brilliant outfits also help in this regard, although I can never decide if I should focus on her flashy pants, her skimpy bikini tops, or her exposed midriff. If she ever gets tired of the fighting world, I’m sure Christie could find employ as a Brazilian supermodel.

Vanillaware games feature some of the gaming industry’s best artwork, and George Kamitani’s character designs rank among the best in the entire fantasy genre. The busty Sorceress from Dragon’s Crown is a particularly notable example. As a wielder of the arcane arts, the Sorceress can control skeletons, turn people into frogs, and create delicious food out of thin air. (Talk about a triple threat!) She also happens to have an incredible body. Her corset-like top can barely contain her heaving breasts, and her exposed thighs are nearly as alluring. Not everyone was impressed, however. Kotaku suggested that the Sorceress was somehow “harmful to video game culture”, and the sentiments were echoed by other low-T fuckwits who hate women. If a female character makes game journalists seethe, you know she must be doing something right!

Kasumi is the face of Dead or Alive, and it’s easy to see why she has been selected as the covergirl for more games than everyone else in the series combined. Although the cast is filled with top-heavy girls, Kasumi has always been special. The runaway shinobi has nice curves and a tendency to kick really high, and most of her outfits leave very little to the imagination. I’ve always been a fan of her white thigh-high stockings, but I’ll concede that she looks great regardless of what she’s wearing. Revealing attire is not ideal for a ninja who is supposed to be in hiding, but Kasumi is obviously the type of girl who lives by her own rules. She’s one of the deadliest fighters in DOA history despite her small stature, and she commands respect even though she can’t kick her rivals without showing them her panties.